she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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