How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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