i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
