i just wanna soil my oats bro
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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