I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize