Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
