dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
two words: eviction party
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
