not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
