That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
