I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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