So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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