i think my tv is drunk
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
