Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!

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(510): View more from California

stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work

Fav 20 7677 1933
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.

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(303): View more from Colorado

If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take

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(616): View more from Michigan

Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america

Fav 27 6988 1876
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday

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(302): View more from Delaware

at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"

Fav 0 539 258
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