so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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