idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
