she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
