There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
