this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
