I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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