There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
