apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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