Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Such a big mess for such a small penis
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
