I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
