Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
