there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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