Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
