It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
