Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out

(1-917): View more from New York City

We've been saying that since '98

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(586): View more from Michigan

i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..

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(313): View more from Michigan

How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.

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(207): View more from Maine

Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.

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(+34): View more from Spain

what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30

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(805): View more from California

You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?

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(515): View more from Iowa

I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".

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