just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
