it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
