okay pat passed out under dana's car
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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