How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
