he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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