they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
