What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
