there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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