why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Let's paint friendship bongs
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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