From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Someone came in the potted fern
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
