Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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