Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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