I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
