I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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