I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
