think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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