Nicole vs. Life
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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