apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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