yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
