My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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