You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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