I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
