I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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