what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
