Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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