I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
