So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
