It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
