when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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