when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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