butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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