Where is the hickey?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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