Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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