I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize