Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
