You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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