..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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